Hi! I'm a 24 year old city girl who was diagnosed with HSV2 (aka genital herpes) almost four years ago but who refuses to give up on the idea of love (and really good sex) despite it. I've only just begun my journey of self-acceptance, self-love and self-discovery. I hope to chronicle my life relating to the virus and social stigma, create a support system and hopefully be there for anyone going through the same thing.According to the CDC, 1 in every 6 sexually active people ages 12 and up, has HSV2. One in every two will contract an STC (sexually transmitted condition) in their lifetime. Get informed, get educated and always use protection!Please check out the FAQs before submitting questions to make sure they haven't already been answered. :)Note: When asking questions, submitting stories, etc, don't use the word "clean" to refer to people without STDs, as it implies that those who do are "dirty". It's offensive and makes me uncomfortable. I won't answer your question if you use that term. For us to change the narrative and get rid of HSV stigma, we first have to change our own narrative and start by noting how we unconsciously propagate it ourselves. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org if anyone ever wants to email me. :)
I don’t give out my number to gray faces. Come off anon (and not on a new tumblr) and I’ll text you. :)
But I also have really awesome boobs.
Please know that if you date me, I am a very touchy person. I will like to pet your head and hold your hand, rub your shoulders or hug you a lot. Simply put, to physically feel you in some way is very comforting to me and I can’t really apologize for it, it just feels natural to me and makes me happy.
You should never apologize for being affectionate! Some people are just really affectionate and some aren’t, you just have to find someone that fits with your “level”.
Feeling miserable when the person responsible is happy is seriously the worst. It doesn’t feel fair and it feels like life is just kicking you when you’re already down. It’s the worst slap in the face. I cried hysterically the day I saw the guy who gave me the HSV prancing around downtown with his new girlfriend; it had only been like a month after my diagnosis. I could feel the resentment and bitterness build up in my throat and stay there, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
Unfortunately I know that me saying things like “everything will be okay!” and “you’re awesome!!!” won’t really help right now but I promise it’ll get easier. The first month is the worst and all you can do at first is try to process your feelings, be kind to yourself and take it a day at a time. Baby steps. You don’t have to tackle everything at once and no one is expecting you to be okay a week in. Let yourself grieve about the HSV, about the heartbreak and about being hurt over him moving on so quickly and just have faith that things will get easier as time progresses.
Four years later and I now realize that the guy who gave it to me is a fucker and that I dodged a bullet by not knowing him today. Hindsight is 20/20 and once the dust clears, you’ll see that it’s for the best. You don’t want to be with someone who just drops you when things gets hot and leaves you for his exgirlfriend. You deserve someone with integrity, not a punk asshole.
I went on my first date since being diagnosed. This guy was tall, cute, funny and I have never had to disclose before so I got all emotionally geared up and announced “..I have genital herpes” and he high-fived me and said “Me too!” You could have knocked me over with a feather!!!!!!!!!
Girl, you are living. the. DREAM!
Chin up, buttercup. You’re stronger than you know.
There’s always s chance of transmission. You could even have the virus already and just be asymptomatic. All you can do now is wait for symptoms to show up.
Washing with warm water and soap, changing your underwear and urinating (as well as using antibacterial gel, alcohol, etc) won’t stop transmission. Once transmission happens, it’s done.
Relax and wait, it’ll be okay.
I’ve had hookups! Since getting diagnosed I’ve slept with two new people, both of which started as very casual hookup situations. One escalated to a full relationship over time, and the other stayed open and fun. I’ve also had a few hookups that did not involve sex because I didn’t want to pursue things. Ironically, they were totally DTF, I just decided I wasn’t into it.
You can definitely enjoy your youth, yo. I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to but having herpes didn’t impact my sex life at all. My only advice on dealing with hookup culture and all that jazz while having an STI is to pay attention to consent. Alcohol can impair an individual’s decision to have sex, and while I’m not saying you should require that everyone read a pamphlet before they fuck you, be considerate. Give people the heads up that you have herpes and always have protection available. Be prepared to get a no. But also be prepared to get a yes, because you’re worth it and people are smarter and kinder than we give them credit for.