Earth, Wind and Herpes

Hi! I'm a 24 year old city girl who was diagnosed with HSV2 (aka genital herpes) almost four years ago but who refuses to give up on the idea of love (and really good sex) despite it. I've only just begun my journey of self-acceptance, self-love and self-discovery. I hope to chronicle my life relating to the virus and social stigma, create a support system and hopefully be there for anyone going through the same thing.According to the CDC, 1 in every 6 sexually active people ages 12 and up, has HSV2. One in every two will contract an STC (sexually transmitted condition) in their lifetime. Get informed, get educated and always use protection!Please check out the FAQs before submitting questions to make sure they haven't already been answered. :)Note: When asking questions, submitting stories, etc, don't use the word "clean" to refer to people without STDs, as it implies that those who do are "dirty". It's offensive and makes me uncomfortable. I won't answer your question if you use that term. For us to change the narrative and get rid of HSV stigma, we first have to change our own narrative and start by noting how we unconsciously propagate it ourselves. My email is earthwindandherpes@gmail.com if anyone ever wants to email me. :)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
quick question. i had a cold sore at the corner of my lips .. not on my lips, and i used my lipstick (sore had already scabbed by then and minimized, wasn't big to begin with) is my lipstick contaminated? I was going to cleanse it with alcohol anyway also my lip pencil.
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

Don’t put alcohol on the lipstick, it might ruin/dissolve it. Just cut a thin sliver off the top.

Okay that was the weirdest pregnancy scare ever. I missed one BC pill at the beginning of my cycle and then was a bit early to take it a few days later. Fast forward a week and I start getting* nauseous, fatigued, getting acid reflux more than usual and side/back pains. All signs of pregnancy. I was basically convinced and was already planning my Planned Parenthood visit.

I’m not pregnant.

hey there… I had sex with my boyfriend, now ex, about a week ago for the first time. I then noticed he had a scab on his penis. He said it was that the skin broke years ago… today when I peed it hurt like hell, and when I looked, I had a tiny sore. Almost 100% its herpes. I want to die right now. I got herpes from a guy who left me a week after he had sex with me. I wish I was dead.

-x- “He said it was that the skin broke years ago”. That doesn’t even make sense. Scabs don’t stay around for years, they always fall off within a few days. Basically your ex is a fucking asshole liar piece of scum and one day you’ll look back and be thankfully that he disappeared from your life now and not once he got you pregnant or after cheating on you with the 15th chick. The guy that gave me HSV never called me back either. He completely disappeared and it destroyed me so I know how you feel. The journey to acceptance might take a while for you, as it did for me, but there are brighter days ahead, I promise. Get tested (swab test or wait 3 months for a blood test) to know for sure since you’re brain will play tricks on you, even if you get a positive diagnosis. Denial is a part of the grieving process and that’s what you’re beginning to undergo. I look back now and think of the guy that gave this to me, and feel nothing but contempt. Grieve, leg yourself feel, and be kind to yourself. You did nothing wrong and you’re still the same person you were before the bump. It might be a tough road ahead but you’re a warrior and you’ll persevere. Maybe in a few months/years, you’ll find a cute, nerdy 6’2 guy with a beard that likes comics and giving you oral sex too! Ahaha.
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Symptom question/concern. I've got HSV1/cold sores genitally. Only ever had the initial teeny cold sore OB about two weeks after the guy went down on me, it went away within a week and have not had anything since my diagnosis. However, the past two weeks I've noticed on the right side of my groin my lymph node is swollen. No cold sores, nothing abnormal, just this little node on one side. Some days I wake up and it has gone down a little and others it seems a little more inflated. Any thoughts?
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

Lymph nodes usually become swollen when the immune system is compromised by something like an infection (or an OB, etc). I always immediately know I have an ear infection or that my nickel allergy is acting up because my lymph node next to my ear gets swollen.

Are you sure you don’t have some other type of infection like yeast or a UTI?

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I just wanted to say thank you for having this blog. It's the only source of comfort I've found on the internet, or really at all, and it makes me proud to be a woman and have faith that I can get through this. Thank the Lord for people like you.
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

:) May the universe grant you peace, love and serenity.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
OMG! What are the odds..I was on your blog last night (just wanted to see how you were doing :) and i woke up with a cold sore.. LOL dont take this the wrong way, just thought it was so funny that your url says 'herpes' and what do you know theres one at the corner of where my lips meet. Just a question, since I have one now, today is 9/16..how long after the sore is gone can i be active? (I think I may be next week) I have lysine pills and acyclovir cream for it.
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

Haha :P.

It’s usually recommended to wait a week after symptoms have cleared completely to be sexually active again. Usually I wait at least four days, since the virus might still be lingering on the skin right after symptoms go away.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I contracted HSV-2 a month before college. I'm trying to handle it the best I can, and it just hit home because it literally deteriorated my self-esteem. I'm reading through your posts and they make me feel a lot better, but i'm asking for advice because now that i'm here, it feels like i'm very alone in regards to every other person here. Thanks you so much,
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

"it feels like i’m very alone in regards to every other person here."

:( Why is that? No, really, why do you feel like an outsider in the online herpes community? Usually I get messages of it helping people be less lonely, not equally or more so?

The thing about self-esteem is that unfortunately no one really has a cure for it. You can take anti-depression or anti-anxiety meds to help see the world clearer if you need them but nothing will really make you like you unless you WANT to like yourself. Some people say “make it ‘til you break it” but the way I see it, the only person that can make yourself like you, is you, and life is difficult enough to want to purposefully make it more difficult.

Just be kind to yourself. You’re worthy, you’re beautiful, and you deserve great things.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I just found out I have HSV-2 a few days ago. Things started getting itchy about a week and a half after I had sex with a new guy for the first time. I decided to get tested and as of 5 days after that test, I have herpes. My last test for HSV1 and 2 was in at the beginning of June and it came back negative. Since then, I have only slept with two people; my ex and this new guy. I talked to my ex and he says he is completely STD FREE as of this week. This means I got this from my new guy right?
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

Thank you but you don’t have to be snarky about it.

Well, it depends, but most likely. Was it a swab test? The only way to know is to make sure your ex hasn’t had sex with anyone new from three months before his blood test to the last time you had sex with him. HSV antibodies can take up to three months to show up on a blood test, giving you a possible false-negative if you take it to soon.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I just found out I have HSV-2 a few days ago. Things started getting itchy about a week and a half after I had sex with a new guy for the first time. I decided to get tested and as of 5 days after that test, I have herpes. My last test for HSV1 and 2 was in at the beginning of June and it came back negative. Since then, I have only slept with two people; my ex and this new guy. I talked to my ex and he says he is completely clean as of this week. This means I got this from my new guy right?
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

You used the word “clean” to refer to those that are STD-negative which is derogatory to those that HAVE STDs. I have on my “about me” that I don’t answer questions that use this term. People with STDs aren’t dirty unless they are literally dirty and haven’t showered. Please resubmit your question with appropriate wording.

To combat the stigma, we first need to realize how we subconsciously perpetrate it ourselves.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi! I have herpes, 4th day with them, it is so painful.. They are on the inside of my vagina if that makes sense.. Like my labia minora. Is that normal? I'm already scared enough, then I looked furthermore with a mirror down there and saw that, now I'm even more scared :(
earthwindandherpes earthwindandherpes Said:

General herpes usually shows up in the genital area (labia majora, labia minora, inside the vagina, on the shaft of the penis, on the head of it, on the testicles and on or in the anus). :) hopefully you’re better now!